Matters on a. Mandar's Heart

Goodlife Fitness Toronto Half Mararthon

2009-10-21T21:21:00.002-02:30

21.1km in 1.53hrs.

Two days of limping.

Can't wait for next time :)

2009-10-08T23:37:00.005-02:30

17.6km.
Symptoms of a herniated disc. I'm breaking down.

2009-09-30T22:33:00.003-02:30

19 days until the long anticipated half marathon
50 days until the PNE
18 days since I started full time work

Current injuries:
1) Morton's neuroma
2) Plantar fasciitis
3) ITB syndrome
...muscle imbalance contributing to all of these. Runners are crazy heh :)

Up to 15.9km. Going for 19km next time.

FINALLY done grad school.

2009-08-31T22:14:00.001-02:30

Miss. BSc Hon, MSc PT

End of an era.
WOOT WOOT!

Over the hill

2009-05-21T22:53:00.005-02:30

The past 7 weeks was quite the adventure.
I normally complain alot about the craziness of school since the program started 21 months ago but I have never imagined that I would be pushed to own boundaries these last months.

The last 7 weeks consisted of 2hrs commutes, 8-10 work hours and evening studying on workdays for the national exam, 10hr study days on weekends and school assignments here and there. Oh and lots of tears, anxiety and prayer along the way. It was hard and I am glad it's over. At the end of the day, I learned alot about handling stress, time management and studying skills. School seems like non-bake cheesecake now, which is why I am ready to PLAY!!!!
Woot! Summer!!! I have resumed jogging and looking forward to all the trips ahead, softball and ultimate games as well as simply enjoying the buzzing of flying invertebrates on a humid summer night.

Why I Run

2009-04-09T00:01:00.002-02:30

Been studying for the upcoming national, licencing exam. Spent 14hrs at Gerstein yesterday. Got home at 11pm and went for a run on the treadmill. Since I didn't want to run until 12am, I upped the intensity to get the same effect. 20min into the run, I felt like I was going to throw up.
I had to stop :(

On another note, this is why I run.

I run to go fast
I run to win
I run for the view
I run with friends
I run to help others
I run to lose weight
I run to keep it off
I run to feel the wind on my face
I run for the high
I run because, it is my time
I run to beat my personal best
I run to be an example to my kids
I run to make a difference
I run to enjoy nature
I run everywhere
I run all the time
I run when I feel like it
I run so I can clear my mind
I run to feel the burn
I run to conquer that hill
I run to catch the runner ahead of me
I run to stay ahead of the pack
I run because, it makes me feel good
I run to see the sun rise
I run to blaze a trail
I run to enjoy the solitude
I run to hear my breath
I run to coast at my natural rhythm
I run to reflectI run to meditate
I run to gain perspective
I run to think
I run because

I am a runner.

(Taken from my friend's fb note, which was taken from Patrick Pressoir)

2009-03-23T20:40:00.002-02:30

Went on my first outdoor run of the year this past weekend.
Ran > 16km along lakeshore. It felt so amazing to be able to run beside the water.

2009-03-10T06:36:00.002-02:30

Can't sleep.
Exam in 5hrs.

I love writing exams.

2009-02-28T11:36:00.003-03:30

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Psalm 4:23-27

I love school, yes I do

2009-01-17T15:17:00.002-03:30

The theory is that if I repeat it enough, I will actually believe it. heh.

Naw.. it's bad but not THAT bad.
We are in our last big unit before the end of the program - advance orthopaedics.
Mostly manual therapy and the different schools of thought. REALLY REALLY interesting stuff. I'm really impressed by some of the things that we can address just be simply knowing the different ways a joint can move. Now I know why they call us movement specialists. It's pretty cool.

Writing my licencing exam in 5 months...AHHHH.

2008-12-14T02:21:00.003-03:30

It's been a while since I've been on this thing.
Here are some things that's been going on:
1. Finished the neuro unit at school
2. Another year older
3. Started & finished my neuro placement at CVH, on the general medicine/ neuro/renal floor. It was a 3hr bus commute from scarbro and a 1hr drive from dt. Ya. Exactly.
4. Started my cardiorespiratory placement at SMH, in the med/surg ICU. It's been AMAZING. Both of my instructors are so awesome and I'm learning new stuff every day. I got to see a open heart surgery (CABG) last week..pretty crazy stuff.
5. More opportunities to work out after work...now that I no longer have to study..heh.
6. There's been a new addition to my family, a puppy! I heart him.
7. I started playing vball with my dad (and his friends). It's our way of bonding.
8. Went to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA taping..2nd last episode..and drooled over the male dancers.

Although it's been the chillest 2 month's since I started physio, I'm looking forward to Christmas break...and NOT looking forward to going back to 8-5pm classes :(

2008-09-04T23:15:00.003-02:30

Living dt has its list of challenges (e.g. distractions).
I am overwhelmed

...but happy

PT2

2008-08-30T22:24:00.004-02:30

I cannot believe how quickly the last month has gone by. The four week break was awesome. Some of the events it included were: portaging trip, cottaging, retreats, and ofcourse a trip to Vancouver, BC. I never wanted to come back. I am seriously considering working there once I'm done school. It was so beautiful and just being in that city made me feel healthier.

Second year officially started a week ago. Since then, I've moved downtown, a 15min walk from the physio building. I love it. My quality of life has increased exponentially. I've gained 2 more hours than I had before...time spent working out and studying..yes studying. However there are some issues with my OSAP application, I might not be getting the funding that I need for moving out which worries me a bit..must pray for this. I really hope that it works out so I don't have to be in super debt and have an empty bank account once I'm done school.

I'm also really excited about my upcoming Neuro placement. Still not sure what my top 5 choices are yet but there are alot of peds opportunities in the acute, rehab and school setting, which is something that I've wanted to do. On the other hand, I also want to try out the stroke rehab and spinal cord injury population. Ah..choice is paralyzing.

2008-07-12T23:10:00.002-02:30

A friend once asked what I thought the sexiest muscle was.
I finally have an answer.

Deltoids..anterior, middle and posterior.

...and this is what I was enlightened with as I was studying for neuroanatomy...
clearly not studying.

Seating

2008-07-10T00:43:00.005-02:30

This morning, I loved physio.
I was at Lyndhurst (part of Toronto Rehab Institute, specializing in spinal cord injury..i think). We spent the morning learning about seating - the cushions, the wheels, the heights, the assessment, the finding..you name it. For most of the class, it was a waste of time, especially in light of our upcoming neuroanatomy final next monday.

However as geeky as it sounds, I really enjoyed the session. I think it's cool that we can assist patients in picking out a really important piece of equipment that they'll use 24/7 for at least 5 years. It's like helping a friend pick out a dress for a party..or an outfit for their job interview. Except in this case, it's a huge piece of metal with wheels on both sides that move. I saw an opportunity to help them select best possible gear for their condition and lifestyle..and then advocating on their behalf to maximize funding..and then using that equipment to help maintain and promote the gains that they made in therapy..to ultimately maximize their function.

This morning, I loved the fact that I will be a real physio in 1 year.

Things to look forward to AFTER July 22

2008-07-09T00:08:00.003-02:30

1. Cottaging w/ the backrow asians
2. English retreat
3. Another retreat with my PARENTS.. that's right folks, they started going to church.
4. VANCOUVER with my lovely backrow girls

I've been looking at this list in my agenda everyday to keep me motivated.
Everyday.

Until then, I must tread through the waters of neuroanatomy and clinical skills exam.

2008-07-08T01:29:00.002-02:30

I'm in love with running again. It just feels so good.
The long weekend allowed me to run 5 days in a row =) Hopefully I can progress myself in speed and distance in a few weeks, once school is out. My knee pain has been getting ALOT better - almost none and I can feel that my VMO is alot stronger..yay

On another note.
We've been doing neuro PT for the past 7 weeks and I absolutely love it. I'm not saying that studying is easy..there's still tons to learn. But I'm really enjoying what I'm learning - from the neurophysiology to the neuroanatomy...to the clinical labs. The theory stuff reminds me of undergrad..but i think it's also cuz this is the kind of stuff I use to imagine physio being all about. Like in 'One Liter of Tears'..someone gets a brain lesion.. they start to lose their stability/balance..the ability to walk..and the physio is there trying to rehab them back and optimize what they do have. Seems alot more rewarding than cardioresp or msk. I love it. Seems very possible that this be the area I want to work in. Can't wait for the neuro placement =)

2008-07-01T14:07:00.006-02:30

I'm in love! And it looks like he likes physios :)

1 more month of classes + exams and then SUMMER BREAK!
Loving neuro as well :)

Unit4 Clinical Education

2008-05-16T17:21:00.003-02:30

Finished my 5 week placement with Closing the Gap, in homecare. I tried to be optimistic going in but the thought of an entire day, everyday..for 5 wks with the same person..in 1 car..scared me. Luckily I was paired up with an awesome clinical instructor. Good times.

I now have a whole new appreciation for homecare physios. It was really interesting to see another side of the continuum of care. Let me tell you...homecare is hard! Not so much because of complicated cases. It's hard because of the social issues involved. You get to see the patient where they spend most of their time, in the place that they need to be able to move around in and function in so everything you do has to be targeted at that. You need to be really creative. Other times, it's really hard because you see all their pathologies, risks for falling and the lack of social support from their families..and it's REALLY REALLY sad..and all you want to do is sit down with them and cry. But at the end of the day..at the end of these 5 weeks..it feels rewarding to know that I was given the privledge to help a granny or gramps be able to do more in their apartment..that their risk for falling and breaking their femur has been reduced greatly and their condition has improved overall so that they're not just sitting infront of the television day after day. I heart physio.

Next tues: Unit 5 Neurological PT

I know my stuff. SSM said so.

2008-04-12T03:01:00.002-02:30

Officially done Unit 3 MSK. I can't believe this day has finally come. It's been a crazy three weeks and I can't believe I made it out alive. The last stretching of studying for my final exam in 1.5 days, going through the material once before writing it... all I have to say is WOW! It's amazing how much someone can be pushed. I don't think I've been stretched this much in... ever possibly. I'm exhausted...and can't wait to start my clinical on monday!!!

I'm starting my basic MSK clinical. My first choice was originally the amputee population but I was given geriatric community care (4th choice) instead. Wasn't too thrilled in the beginning but I'm really excited now. I think it will be a great learning experience to work in the community cuz I won't be surrounded by all these fantastic equipment and human resources. It will force me to be more creative, independent and resourceful....and those things will be helpful in the future, when I go overseas. It will also be cool to see the role of physio throughout the continuum of care, since most of my exposure thus far in the program has been in the hospital setting.

I've officially by deemed unconsciously competent by ssm (haha!). No more sports bras and sweats. I'm excited to enter the real world again =)

2008-03-30T00:26:00.004-02:30

I think I might die sometime with in the next two weeks.
Had the electromodalities PSE yesterday.
MSK PSE next friday.
Anatomy exam the following Wed.
Final Exam 2 days later.

Oh right, I still have classes on top of all this.
Yes, I'm going to die. I'll be living on the 7th floor til April 11.

I'm trying to decide which exam will produce the least severe consequence if i fail it. What an attitude eh. hah. Oh the decisions that students need to make.

Appreciating the journey

2008-03-04T21:31:00.002-03:30

Where do I even begin.
First off. I finished my 3 week clinical at TEGH and back in class now. I absolutely loved the experience. I learned alot, saw alot, experienced alot, felt alot and met a bunch of really interesting and encouraging people. I met patients who poured their hearts out. I had to leave one of the rooms cuz I was going to cry. I know for sure that I didn't get into the wrong profession- I just hate the school part of it heh. IAnd I'm not sure if acute care is for me but I definitely saw how God could use my role as a physio for his kingdom.

During those 3 weeks, my mom made a comment about how happy I was compared to when I was in school. And it made me think... I shouldn't have to wait until I start working to 'be happy'... or to allow God to use me. I need to stop letting the stress of the program dictate what kind of person I am. I have a choice and I chose to glorify Him. Moreover I was reminded that I was not put into this program to cry and complain for the next two years. There's got to be more that He wants his people to do while we're in physio school.

So...after a few conversations...a really good book...and some prayer, I felt burdened to start up a prayer group at school...for Christians in the class to meet..to share..to pray and to encourage each other. SO THEN...I asked around and approached a few people and there IS interest!!! I'm really excited to meet up with everyone for the first time and I'm eager to see where He will take us =)

2008-02-26T00:50:00.001-03:30

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Psalm 37:7.

Placement

2008-02-13T20:28:00.004-03:30

I'm doing my first placement at TEGH. My clinical instructor (CI) is SOOOOO sweet. She's so approachable, friendly, open to suggestions, and TOTALLY does not make me feel stupid. She's gentle in her teaching, which is really nice. I was really scared after some of my clinical visits back in oct in some of the other hospitals. She's so awesome! We had a little heart to heart on the second day when i told her how much i appreciate her teaching style. The rest of the team is also very friendly. Oh, and I finally understand the role of a PTA.

Even though my days are alot less stressful than when I had classes, I'm still coming home exhausted. I went to bed at 11 yesterday..heh. So far I've been helping my CI with some transfers, doing ambulation training, stair training etc. Nothing super exciting seeing that most of our patients are retired (the old grannies and grandpas are SOOOOOO cute!). I've been familiarizing myself with charting (yay SOAP notes!) and being able to read other ppl's writing.

Hopefully I'll have more opportunities to do some hands on stuff in the upcoming weeks. So much better than I expected.

Month 6 (/24)

2008-02-05T00:31:00.000-03:30

I have 3 days to cram for a unit midterm. Even in undergrad, I started studying at least 2 weeks ahead. Sigh. How am I ever going to be a good clinician when I don't have enough time to fully appreciate what's going on?

Friends, if I ever refer you to ANOTHER PT, it's because I love you. I don't want to hurt you with my lack of knowledge.

Back to the notes.

Warning: this is another complaining post. My bitterness might spread.

2008-01-26T00:29:00.000-03:30

The next two weeks are going to be ______.... yea. You hear me.
I don't want to list all the things cuz it will only make me stressed.

'Real physio' (MSK) sucks! I think after I get my licence, I'll just go into cardioresp and never do this stuff again. This unit is ridiculously disorganized. I don't know what I was complaining about last semester. And all the prof talks about is how we already know this stuff and we're just not giving ourselves enough credit. So as a result, she doesn't bother going over anything. Ugh, No! This is NOT Mac, there should be no PBL...this is UofT. Where's the spoonfeeding!?! Humility was never a forte of mine. So if I say "i have no idea", I actually mean it. Just a bit frustrating. My small grp fascilitator who graduated 2 yrs ago and is now a physio at St.Mikes said that every class feels this way at this unit but you WILL know everything. It's a bit comforting to know that it's not us that's a bit on the slow side... but so hard to believe right now. Hopefully I'll look back at this post in 2 years and have a good laugh..haha. Yea right.

So I'm going on my first clinical placement in 2 weeks. I'm on an acute inpatient orthopaedics floor. I'm not sure what kind of patient population I'll be with but sounds pretty impressive eh? heh.. hopefully lots of total hip, total knee and Hip OA cuz that's the only thing I've know so far..haha

Thank God for friends to keep me sane and my lunch hours fun! (Hi, Tip!)

A friend recently reminded me of what got him through the program. Remembering what a blessing it is to be in the program and being aware of areas that God can be glorified while we're here. I'm thankful to be here. It's just frustrating cuz they can be doing so much better. But I definitly AM thankful to be where I am.

Christmas Break

2008-01-06T01:21:00.000-03:30

I bought my very first digital camera and I haven't gotten use to the idea of taking pictures of every little thing and being a camera whore. But I'm slowly learning.

This is a picture of the break: Random fun.

This is a picture of what's to come from January to August. Hopefully it won't be so bad. I'm just a drama queen.

2007-12-11T23:24:00.000-03:30

I'm bitter. I need to vent.

After 14 weeks of classes, labs, clinical visits and more fun stuff, cardioresp finally came to a close. We got through our first two units and we're now off to unit 3: Musculoskeletal...otherwise known as 'real' physio. I've had 2 days of it so far and i'm even more bitter than before. Not only do we have 4 new textbooks, but there are assigned readings from them EVERYDAY!!! Yes, everyday! By the time I go through the day's lecture material, study for anatomy, eat my dinner and allot time to get home, it's 9pm. WHY DO THEY HATE US TO MUCH???

Sigh. I've been afraid to look at my schedule, infear that the stress will induce an MI. I know i'm only 23 but it's still possible. So to continue the venting. We finish class on the 21 of december..21! Even grade school kids finish before that. THEN..when I get back, I have 2 assigments, 1 crazy test, 1 presentation all within a 2 week span. Guess what I'll be doing this christmas. I should move into my friend's place downtown for christmas, while she's away so that I'll be closer to school..since it seems like I'll be studying all of christmas. No...no one is bitter.

The great eruption of my frustration volcano

2007-11-29T20:34:00.000-03:30

Why do they get lecturers who can't teach in grad school?
I thought those undergrad days were long gone. ARGH. So frustrating.

More to come next week.

2007-11-24T13:44:00.000-03:30

You may say to yourself, "My power and strength of my hands have produced

this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God,

for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.

Deut 8:17-18a

God has been good in reminding me that getting into this program was by HIS miraculous works and not due to my 'smarts'.

I had my very first PSE (Practical Skills Exam) yesterday for the cardioresp unit. For those who don't know what it is. It is an exam that tests our practical skills...hah. There were 6 stations in all and we were given 1 minute to read a scenario, which include the condition of the patient and what physio 'techniques' to perform. Then we get 4 minutes to go in and perform it on a 'patient' (the school hires actors). There was also a clinical evaluator in the room to examin your abilities. It reminded me of the mac interview.

So despite alot of practice on some friends (THANK YOU FRIENDS!), I was REALLY REALLY nervous about this. I was scribbling notes as I was reading the questions and my pen broke! I walked into my first station and i forgot the patient's name! I went into another station and I forgot part of the treatment I was suppose to do and at the end I had to verbalize to the clinician what i WOULD have done. And for the chest x-ray station, we were asked to identify the sturctures that were labelled and write down the pathology. But still i was still REALLY REALLY nervous. Jeepers. I seriously have issues. And then there's the whole post-exam reflection that haunts you for at least a few days.

For friends who are considering applying to physio for next year. Make sure that you REALLY want to do this. It's an amazing profession but there's also a high price to pay in between.

Month 3(/24)

2007-11-03T11:19:00.000-02:30

It's offically month 3, week 10, day..something into my new program and I am tired and discouraged. I mentioned to a couple of people that it feels like frosh year all over again- where your marks drop significantly and your weight goes up significantly. Trust me, it's pretty sad.
I've also shared with some friends about my recent anatomy mark. Not only is it bad but i failed. We had a bellringer 2 weeks ago and it was one of the most stressful 40min in the past 3 months. I've written bell ringers before, in high school, in undergrad but this was INTENSE. I was able to literally feel my heart palpating, my hands were shaking, I couldn't get my thoughts organized and I kept getting confused about my left and right sides. It seems like in the last two years, my Heavenly Father has opened every door, window and garage entrance to get me the 'right' credentials for this program. And now that I'm in, I'm being knocked down right, left and center. It's not a good feeling. Not at all. Alot of people have said that I will get use to the intensity but it's hard to believe when my pile of notes to through continues to grow with each passing day; I've had to transfer them from a folder into a BINDER cuz it was getting too big.

Something else that's different about this program is that I have friends again! Woot! ha ha.. Not only do I see some of them on weekends but I even go out during the school week too!!! I know, it's unheard of. Let me introduce you to the new and improved (but failing) Amandar. It all began when my school friends kept commenting about how hardcore I was. That's when I realized that most people had a social life, even during the school year. So I tried it and was addicted haha. As a result I'm going to try 1-2 'fun' things a week..very exciting. And honestly, the intensity of this program has let me to understand why people go out on friday nights, something I never quite grasped in undergrad.

I have also been seeking why God brought me to UT specifically. Besides that fact that it has the best PT program in the country (hahaa), why else did he want me on this campus and learning with the other 82 future PT's. So I've been looking and looking; specifically, for opportunities to serve and bless others. It's been difficult at times because I'm not naturaly a happy go lucky kind of gal, especially at 8am on a Monday morning in a room full of cadavers. And my nature to talk is when others have finishes speaking and sometimes that never happens. So it's been kind of challenging in that sense. I'm just really quiet compared to most of the other people. HOWEVER. I feel like my recent failing mark in anatomy has brought me some kind of weird bond with the other people that failed. And it's really cool because I've never talked some of these people before and now all of a sudden we have something to relate to and encourage each other about. So I guess..just maybe God is working in this mysterious way and it makes me feel less bad about the mark- all for the kingdom of God =) ...but I wouldn't mind if he used me in another way next time.

Prayer request: understanding of schoo material, time management with studying and rest.
Thanks friends.

P.S. I have my practical skills exam in 3 weeks so if you would like to help me practice by being a patient, please let me know. You will need to take off your shirt for some fo the chest physio stuff (not all) but I am VERY professional.. so don't worry about me pointing and laughing at anything =)

Another school year

2007-09-30T23:59:00.000-02:30

Goal for this year: a more balanced life (i.e. having a life outside of studying....i.e. having a life). Why are you laughing? Stop it! Stop!!! I'm really trying..sort of. I'll try harder after my exam...and bell ringer...and maybe the first couple of assignments.

Current status: not doing so well HOWEVER I found out that I cannot get kicked out of the program. They'll just give me the lowest mark possible, 70%. WOOT!

But seeing how it's a health profession that deals with people's lives, I should really try to be competent. It's nice to be competent.

Ah..23 more months left. The countdown continues.

I really need to be more thankful.

Ah so random. I'll write a real post after my first exam.

Post-summer post: BFF, goodbyes, softball and work

2007-08-24T15:29:00.000-02:30

Beach after a sleepover

PT, Doctor and Pharmacist in action

(I'm not sure what Eric and Adrian are doing)

TCAC Rock is here

YSM Media Camp Staff at Wonderland
(absent: Shirley Kim- she took the picture)

Where do I even start. This summer started really slow with 2hr walks along Shephard Ave, from Scarborugh to North York. It also consisted of anxious job hunting. I had applied to Sciout back in March and had pretty high hopes in working there. But after a turn of events, I was spontaneously hired by Yonge Street Mission as a Media Camp counsellor.

Work had its number of really stressful days, but overall it was a growing experience. I LOVED my coworkers. Everyone was so different- in culture, personality and the experiences and expertise that they brought. I feel that God equipt our team really well in terms of diversity and at the same time, there was a strong sense of unity. I was espeically blessed by Miss Shirley Kim. Her love for the children and desire to serve others was evident in everything that she did. The biggest 'lesson' that I took away from YSM was learning to love and serve others. And although I was counting the days til camp ended, I really miss the kids...I miss playing Trouble with the sisters + Kristine...and then making fun of the kids when they lost..ha!

The summer also consisted ALOT of softball. I had alot of fun cheering and fellowshiping with everyone and I'm SOOO proud of us for making it to playoffs and winning the first round. Let's aim for semi's next year...and new cheers =)

A overshadowing theme of this summer was goodbyes. It all started when Faith moved to Mexico. Then Steph's departure to HK. Followed by Lei and Will. And then Ann went to Grenada for med school. Will left for Burkina Faso yesterday and Shauna will be going to Korea next week. Saying goodbye to people makes me all nostalgic so I rather opt for a non-emotional farewell. Still, it feels like we're all grown up but I'm not so ready to let go. Sigh..at least there's still PMS...aka Emily and Mel.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited about the upcoming school year. I think all the fun and freedom that I had this summer has robbed away any excitement from school. But yea, I guess I am excited and a bit scared about school. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and trying out some campus fellowships...C4C perhaps? I'm reminded of that over played and over sappy song, "It's something unpredictable but in the end is right. I hope you have the time of your life".

24 month countdown starts in 2 weeks.

2007-07-31T23:01:00.000-02:30

I love my mom but I can't stand it when she "cleans" the house. She throws away anything and everything that's "messy". This includes any paper and documents that is lying around. My dad had to dig through the garbage to get back his legal documents. And in this case, she threw away the minutes that I jotted down from last weeks fellowship meeting....and i still can't find it!
And the part that gets me REALLY steaming is that she doesn't care. I just finished going through my garbage and she won't even come outside to tell me where she threw the stuff.

I'm so sorry guys :(

Convocated!

2007-06-13T15:55:00.000-02:30

Honours B.Sc with distinction

Note to the future Amanda:

2007-05-27T00:31:00.000-02:30

I've been putting this entry off for a while mostly because 50% of my grand total of 6 readers are overseas right now, making the incentives to blog to be minimal. There has been many emotions that I've felt during the last three weeks. With all the free time that I've been given, I've had numerous opportunities to catch up with friends that I haven't seen in a while. I've taken up jogging OUTSIDE again. Woot! It's so much harder to run outside after being spoiled by the treadmill. I've also taken up the hobby of taking long, romantic walks along Sheppard Ave and I've reacquainted myself with my Gr.11 physics textbook (curses!). Plus I've also finished watching all 24 episodes of Goong and only read one book.

It's been an overly relaxing month of rest. Besides all that stuff, my true intentions for this entry is to give thanks and to serve as a reminder for myself in the future.

As I look back at my past entries, there has been several (published and unpublished) about my PT applications. The whole process, from figuring out what courses to take, to being involved in the 'right' extracurricular stuff, to writing and rewriting my personal essay, to waiting to hear about interviews, to preparing for the interviews, to being at the interview..haa.. you get the point. Looking back, the overriding theme has been trusting and waiting. I'm not sure which one was harder. The past two years has been a learning experience in itself. I can't begin to put down into words how elegantly He orchestrated the events and opportunities to prepare me for this program. I recall studying at school one Saturday and I randomly ran into my high school biology teacher (whom I have not seen for over two years). From there, she got me connected to a PT who had connections with the faculty at one of the schools and was able to give me some tips about the interviews (nothing illegal though..heh). Plus let's not forget my PMS (Prayer Meeting Saturdays) warriors that have been faithful in petitioning for me; the career counsellor at school and many others who offered me to help me with interviews, the friends who edited and re-edited my essay; my verifiers and referees, and the many who encouraged me along the way. There's just so much to be thankful for.

I also recall how horrible I felt after one of the interviews. I had originally signed up for a tour of the department afterwards. However after coming out of that room, I knew that there would be no chance I would get in. Especially considering how competitive that particular school was. It was actually quite depressing. My hair was starting to get frizzy and my grown-up, 'click-click' shoes were killing me. So I left and went home to nap. I know that I've already told this story to many people but I really wanted to blog this to remind myself in the future of what He has done.

So it's been a week since those letters has been sent out. I've been rejected, wait listed by two and got accepted by my first choice (the school with the horrid interview). I can't stop pointing my finger upwards because I know that it was nothing that I had or did that got me the acceptance. For that, I am not only thankful but I am also excited about the next 26 months. I'm excited to see why He wanted me to stay in town. I'm excited about learning the skills in order to become an effective and outstanding PT. I am excited about the people that I will meet and learn those skills with and ofcourse, I'm excited that I won't have to miss anything at home (at church, at home home and friends). Moreover I was reminded that since I believe that this is the will of God for me in the next few years, when I face whatever obstacles during that time, I can always come back to this fact: that God led me to this profession and specifically to learn at this school- so I am going to go all out!

And that is why I had to record these thoughts- as a tangible reminder for myself of what He has done.

Done and Done...for the past two weeks

2007-05-07T15:32:00.000-02:30

It's over and now I don't know what to do with myself. Let me know if you want to play =)
I'm free and up for anything for the next month.

De-weeding is fun.

Physiological Shout-outs

2007-04-23T02:41:00.000-02:30

Just got back from school and I am in a very appreciative mood.

I want to thank the cells in my SA node for 'heading things up'. Way to be the leaders. Oh, and I must say that the Starling Effect is pretty darn cool =)

I want to thank the relationship that my parasympathetic and sympathetic system have with each other. Relationships are about compromise - you win some, you lose some.

I want to thank my muscus barrier, specifically for the two special cells in surface mucous and mucous neck cells. Great job trying to keep things neutral on the surface!

I also want to acknowledge the hardwork and busy body transporters of the distal and proximal tubules. I love how you regulate things..heh.

Oh, and ofcourse I can't forget my pancreas and all the hardwork you do in protecting the other guys by keeping things inactive..until the right moment that is. Way to never miss a step! Loving the zymogens =)

Thank you liver for keeping my lipids (sorta) in check. I really appreciate it.

And finally a special shout out to my loop of Henle and it's partner in crime, the vasa recta. I love you guys for establishing and maintaining the medullary osmotic gradient (respectively). I don't know where I would be without you guys! You've been long underrated due to your complex structure but I think you're my favorite (don't tell the others). You can be hard to grasp at times but definitly one of the key players.

Above all, none of this can be possible without the Genius behind all these intelligent designs. YOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you for thinking of every little detail, so that all things can work out in such coordination and perfection. Your creation will never cease to amaze me.

I apologize for now mentioning the respiratory system at the moment. It's not that I don't like you. It's just that I haven't had time to study you in detail yet (hopefully tomorrow).
I'm sure you're doing a good job and keeping things flowing =)

2 more days.

Wait wait, I LOVE YOU HEMOGLOBIN! and Bicarbonate...and H2PO4-.. um...i love you all!

Sustainable drinking

2007-04-15T16:08:00.000-02:30

No, this is not a post about how to mix drinks so you don't get wasted- sorry.

I'm studying for my 9am exam tomorrow morning. This course is about the impacts that humans have on the environment simply from our eating habits. It's amazing and heartbreaking to find out about how much our eating habits and living styles hurt the environment. Now, I love coffee...and I also really like the environment and nature. So
in the process of researching my semi-essay question, I came upon this website, http://www.shadecoffee.org/shade-coffee.cfm. It talks about why it's important to buy to shade grown coffee.

Most commercially sold coffee is sun grown..which means monoculture..which mens heavy use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides...which means it will cause soil erosion, chemical run off, contaminating ground and surface waters and eutrophication.

NB. top soil takes thousands of years to form...it's slowly made from rocks through primary succession. So once it's gone, it's gone. The rate at which it's replenish is FAR slower than the rate that it's made.

The alternative to this industrial way of farming and the way nature intended is shade grown..which means that coffee is grown in a polyculture environment, mimicking the natural rainforest. This will not only prevent soil erosion and less dependency on fertilizers/pesticides (organically grown) but ALSO creates a habitat for migratory birds. They're also fair trade!

The website also has a link for shade coffee distributors in your local area. For those friends from the GTA, it's here, http://www.birdsandbeans.ca/

Anyone want to get together for some coffee? =)

2007-04-05T16:53:00.000-02:30

as Oasis people would say, PTL!

Please pray for April 28 and 29.

Any Hamilton people willing to take me in for the night?

Not studying

2007-03-31T15:43:00.000-02:30

Legs crossed, sitting at a cubicle desk in the quiet study room on the third floor of the Academic Resource Center. Lecture notes from all three classes lay scattered on the desk. A thick physiology textbook cracked open to a random page. The aroma from a tall cup of fair trade and shade grown coffee fills up my little nook. Another beautiful Saturday "wasted" at school. I want to think that I've returned to what most students refer to as 'exam mode', but the sad part is that I don't think I've ever left it since three months ago. Sad. As I struggle to finish typing up lecture notes from yet another course taken for no other value than to be checked off for that neuroscience program, I can't help but ponder- "did i miss the blessing?"

With only one more week left of classes and less than a month left of undergrad life, it only seems natural to reflect on the last four years. Looking back, I see why God led me to stay in Toronto when most people left town after high school. I can see the blessings I've received from Oasis and opportunities to serve at TCAC that I would never have been able to do if I were out of town. I've been encouraged be part of the growth of others spiritually as well as the growth of Oasis quantitatively. I've been encouraged by women from all generations in sunday school (back when I use to go). And ofcourse I am now closer to my parents than I have ever been - they're awesome!

Despite all of these good things. I know I could've done so much more - that I could have allowed God to use me so much more. This last year has been full of nerdy days and weeks. There was one point where I spent 15hrs at school everyday, for a month. I can think of so many times when I traded the opportunity to spend time with people and build relationships for more time to get intimate with my notes. And now at the end of this road, I beg the question, "was it worth it"? This feels like a very Carrie Bradshaw moment (minus the sex part).

In the realm of University life and associated academic 'competition' and scarcity of time, how does one balance having a life and maintaining the desired GPA? When do you decide that enough is enough? I am not talking about using your own strength vs. doing nothing and totally 'relying on God'. I am refering to how to reconcile fully living out this season as a university student without compromising opportunities to bring glory to the Kingdom. Is efficiency the key? Time management?

2007-03-13T11:37:00.000-02:30

A beautiful verse:

He lifts up a banner for the distant nations, he whistles for those at the ends of the earth.
Isaiah 5:26a

Respiratory Physiology

2007-03-07T01:02:00.000-03:30

My professor openly declared in lecture that the bird lung is evidence for intelligent design over the course of evolution.

Darwin once said that, "If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed which could not possibly have formed by numerous successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down". The bird lung meets that criteria.

Cool!

"Waiting to Exhale"

2007-02-26T00:36:00.000-03:30

It feels like the whole world has applied to PT. Everywhere i turn, i found out another person has applied.
Sigh. Faith is scarce right now.

You know when you're watching an award show, or a game show...or basketball game; when the person is about to announce the winner, the verdict, or the ball is close to the rim. What do you do? There is a slight pause where you hold your breath and wait to see what happens. I feel like I've been holding my breath since Jan 15. The pressure in my "alveoli" can't take it anymore. My "diaphragm" is tired (I've been studying pulmonary mechanics, i couldn't resist).

Must go back to the story of Joseph.

Lord, bless you in all seasons, with all outcomes, all my life.
Help me to exhale go.

2007-02-19T11:55:00.000-03:30

The problem with partnering up with friends for group assignments is that it's hard to be bitter towards them. Why can't business and pleasure mix?

Mr. Motivation, i miss you.

2007-02-10T23:06:00.000-03:30

Do you remember when you were in your last year of high school. When you came back from Christmas break and everything seemed to drag on? For those two weeks of Christmas break, you had a sweet taste of freedom and the very thought of 'finishing' another segment of your education seemed better than chocolate fondue...yet so far away. So as you anticipate and get excited about what's coming up next, you're also stuck in this state where motivation is lost because the fate your future has already been (at least partially) determined by your academic results from the previous semester/term.

I find myself there once again. As much as I'm trying to convince/fool myself in finishing strong, it's so hard to stay motivated. The applications are already in. My transcript has already been sent. There's no more I can do (academically) to improve my chances. And although I am taking half the amount of courses I did last year, the work seems so much more heavier and burdening, meanwhile my efficiency has decreased exponentially.

And so the hours, which turn into days has been spent making Valentines for my students...and 'stalking' people (who are way too young) on facebook.. ha haa. So wrong.

Mr. Motivation, please come back! Mr. Cheeseman, please save me!

My academic ambitions is manifesting itself through other mediums and i'm loving it..haha- belly dance (rawr!), spinning, latin dance, cardiobox and running. They trump the quiet studying room anyday!

Last Semester

2007-01-10T00:19:00.000-03:30

I had too much fun playing during the break that the thought of school turns my smile upside down. So the purpose of this post is to 'trick' myself to see how "great" going back to school is.

Top 5 Things to look forward to this semester:

5. Finishing up my undergrad career and letting go of my grad school applications to the Big Guy.
After spending almost 4 years in a cement institution, it really starts to grow on you. It's almost like the PCA of universities- the ghettoness of its facilities and friendliness of its people.

4. Taking only 3 courses, 1 of which is online. Mammalian Physiology, Drugs and the Brain and a possible bird course of which i am too ashamed to mention. No, it's not Air or Water, I've taken those already.

3. Working out (hopefully) 3 times a week. Anyone up for running together?

2. TAing. Teaching and connecting with students was the biggest highlight of last year. Let's not mention the hygiene factor (marking lab reports...shhh).

1. Latin dance class!!! I'm going to learn to chacha, ramba and salsa...rawr =) I'm still debating about belly dancing.

On a separate note, I can't wait until this root canal business is over. I will replace my need for tylenol 3 with the finest delicacies of all my farm animal friends.
Get ready to buffet it out!

Christmas Break- here is a taste

2007-01-02T04:49:00.000-03:30

The best entertainment ever- watching Mel box (Adrian is getting killed)

Cranium- battle between the sexes

Happy Palindrome Emily!

Gift Exchange

Notice how all the events are at Em's place? Thanks for opening up your home.

I heart PCAers

* All pictures stolen from Emily's flicker site

2006-12-29T17:35:00.001-03:30

I hate going to the dentist.

2006-12-19T00:40:00.000-03:30

I can't stop taking naps at school!!!

I realized that the secret to my studying productivity is in the 1.5hr long naps that i take, 1hr into my study session. It's at a point where the numbing pain in my arms no longer bother me.

Somtimes 2hrs after I have waken up, my arm still hurts...and is cold.

That can't be good.

1 MORE EXAM!!!!

REM

2006-12-08T02:31:00.000-03:30

I love the quiet study room- I can get SOOO much sudying done. Mainly because:
1) people don't talk (it's a quiet study room)
2) people dont bring in hot food (which can be quite annoying- the aroma of curry or some other ethnic spice filling up the entire room)

It's also a nice environment for naps! Oh man. I've started a routine with my 6pm naps. They're sooo good and i feel so refreshed after heh.

During yesterday's 30min nap, I had a dream that I was studying in that room...except rather than having a brown girl in the cubicle beside mine, i had a cute boy! A cute asian boy who was also in biology!!! We were having a conversation about cell bio (weird b/c I took that class 2 yrs ago)..ah haa...then i woke up because my arm started to numb.

I'm sad to say that i chose my limbs over the boy.

Ah...studying has made me crazy.

2006-11-09T00:48:00.000-03:30

Sorry about the recent venting.
__________________________________

I registerd for an account at OUAC (ontario universities application centre) on Monday night.
Oh man, I knew that I would be on the lower scale of the applicants but it was so humbling to find out exactly how much less competitve I am for grad school. From the 4 schools, looks like there's only a chance from 2 of them.

Yet I was encouraged tonight to follow my passion because it's not a mistake or coincidence that I am passionate about the things that I am. We were talking about passions in the context of small groups. But similarly...if this IS my passion. And I believe it is, then what reason do I have in doubting God to bring me there? Even if it means not getting in right away.

This song has really stuck with me these couple of days.
I heard it on sunday at Youngnak...and again at VCF tonite.

Still
(Reuben Morgan)

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within your mighty hand.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

"For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?"
1 Cor 4:7

I received.

2006-11-05T00:47:00.000-03:30

AHHHHHH
Boys are idiots and girls are trouble. Stay away everyone, stay away.

Why can't boys take a hint??? ah...in this case, to BACK OFF!

2006-10-30T00:01:00.000-03:30

Just an observation about chinese people in my parents generation. They talk about certain characteristics of people as if it's their fault. For example, i've received comments about how i lack a bridge on my nose- as if I can exercise my nose so a bump magically appears. I've also had comments about the stoutness of my neck- in fact, my parents often pulled my neck when i was a child, i hopes of elongating it. Sigh. As if by explicitly pointing a faulty physical characteristic, it will encourage me to change it.

I wonder if caucasian parents say these things to their children.

Just an observation.

Birthdays

2006-10-17T01:43:00.000-02:30

(in no particular order)

HAPPY BRTHDAY!!!!
- Mic
- Matthew
- Doris
- Ray
- Brent
- and the rest of the October babies.

It's the year of the Palindrome!...eeeee.

Madea's Family Reunion

2006-10-02T03:48:00.000-02:30

I was studying at school yesterday for 10hrs! so after coming home i treated myself to a movie- 'Madea's Family Reunion' to be exact.

One of the story lines was about this woman who was raped by her step father as a child. And later had two kids with two separate guys, who both abandoned her. So after all that, you can imagine how much pain, hurt and brokeness was in her heart. After that she became celibate.

And THEN...this guy started to pursue her- continuously, shamelessly. I can't count the number of rejections he got. But yea..eventually things worked out (you can watch the movie for yourself) and they're standing before each other at the alter. And this is what she says to him, "You are a reflection of God's heart for me" - this is the point where i cried.

I've been thinking about that phrase and it makes me feel mushy each time. If the man is suppose to be the woer, the chaser- it is such a parallel to what Jesus is to each of us. The way He pursues and chases after us, no matter how many rejections we give; despite how many excuses we make up. Wow. And when we've been wronged and hurt by others, Jesus is the one to who restores us.

Pastor Scott once said at the pulpit that "we can trust our hearts with Jesus". Yes friends, we don't have to 'guard our hearts' when it comes to the One who is the Source of all love. We can trust Him with our hearts- that is such an amazing thought.

I can't stop thinking about those words.
I really pray that I can echo those words at my wedding..hah

On a totally semi separate note, i can see Sam reading and then making a sappy remark. Come Hsieh, prove me right!

2006-09-27T02:21:00.000-02:30

"And above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."
Prov 4:34

"And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your heart. as you trust in him" Eph 3:17

...that JESUS will be more and more at home in my HEART...as i learn to TRUST in him. Trust in him.

2006-09-19T22:35:00.000-02:30

I've been feeling really anxious alot lately...i decided to diagnose myself --> anxiety attacks. I've been having really short breaths and getting nervous over nothing. The symptoms are more physiological than psychological. Very very strange.

I came home early yesterday cuz i couldn't handle the anxiousness anymore. So as i layed in my bed from 9pm-2am, trying to fall asleep, this was what was put on my heart.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Phili 4:6-7

And His peace far surpasses them all =)

2006-09-11T00:35:00.000-02:30

And so it begins.

The cold crisp air is once again amongst us.
I almost feel like I have to pull out my kilt, white shirt, and black shoes and meet everyone in the gym tomorrow morning...heh

I'm ready for the battle. Lord help me to draw my strength from you.

PCA Cottage Weekend 2006

2006-09-05T15:00:00.000-02:30

It was good.

[More] No matter how long it's been, it always feels like we're back in high school.

My favorite moments:

- "sharing" in the Secret/Treasure room until the sun started to come up.

- Cranium: "I am alive! I am alive"..."Squirrel!" heh.. oh man

- being mesmerized (and scared) by Esther's epilator

Countdown

2006-08-30T16:22:00.001-02:30

Ah. After a very long yet quick summer, it all comes down to the last two weeks.

What's in store:
- annual "retreat" with my peoples peeps. Very excited!
- CNE
- Chinese Lantern Festival
- getting together with Warren? ha haa..we'll see. After a year of 'tentative scheduling'
- school =) Yes, i'm looking forward to a new semester, with new classes, SPINNING and running again
- after 6 VERY long months, my mom is finally coming back from china. Ah i miss her so much.
- last shift at Bloorview
- planning for the Christmas Celebration. Yes, that's right. I've already started. And watch out, if I haven't asked you already, I will =)
- serving Oasis again. For the past year, going to friday programs has truely been an "oasis" for me. I was able to go from a crazy week of school and expect to enjoy fellowship and worship God. But i'm really excited to be serving again. I miss it. And i know that He is doing something really special with this group of people. I just hope that I will continue to feel this way once november comes.

I was told yesterday that I am no where close to finishing my experiments. Apparently there are a whole bunch of stuff that he still wants me to do before i can start writing. I guess my plan of finishing all the experiments by the end of summer will not happen until november. Just thinking about it releases a burst of cortisol- AH! I'm really not use to this whole independent research idea- probably because I lack self control. And the freedom is paralyzing.
I need classes! I need milestones! I need exams!

Adrenaline

2006-08-17T22:41:00.000-02:30

Perhaps it's my 'competitive' side or it might be because it's soon to be the beginning of summer for me. I'm really pumped for my exam tomorrow (second last). I always get really nervous before an exam, no matter how much i've prepared. But it's a good nervous. I love the feeling of studying really hard for something and then acing it. It's almost like a fight, a mental battle, like a long jog on a sunny day. Where at the end of it all, it just feels good to have sweat it off.

I realized this summer that I am a very goal oriented person. I love to see the finish product (given that it's good) and at times i would go to all costs to reach that goal (i'm thinking in terms of school here). But perhaps i need to remember that most of the time, it's about the journey. It's about how i got there; about the way i respond; about Who i rely on. It's about the process because that's the part that makes you stronger.

I really miss interacting with living people. I miss the cute boy at bloorview that picks his wedgie everytime he uses his walker. I miss how he hides his face behind his hands in the first 5min. heh so cute. I miss having coffee with people. I miss human interaction. The crickets and flies are just not cutting it anymore- although the population has been crashing rapidly.
Ah. One more week and i'm going to start making some phone calls. And you better answer!

Anatomy bell ringer, get ready to be owned!

Blessings from this weekend.

2006-08-11T00:58:00.000-02:30

The English speaking congregation had our annual retreat. And we (the committee) have been planning since May.

I went in with a pretty pessimistic attitude. Physically, i was popped and felt very 'gross'. And sleeping on the floor does NOT help.

But I've blessed in numerous ways this pass weekend. I'm too tired to type out my two long stories, so if you're genuinely interested, you'd ask me in person (hehe..*tap nose*)...but it goes along the lines of...
- discouragement
- China
- serving

And the addition of a new sister! It made everything worth it.

Looking forward to serving next year.

A.

2006-08-07T15:35:00.000-02:30

Tired.

Time to study. *crawling into the hole*

2006-07-30T01:40:00.000-02:30

Har har, another one

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

My house was recently used as a set for an indie film, "The Left Side of Night". Nothing beats the immigrant experience.

The kid actor is so cute! We played dominos and finger hockey..ahh.. so cute.

2006-07-22T21:50:00.000-02:30

Throughout the summer now, part of my evening schedule is to come home, have dinner, shower and watch television. It's a sweet sweet routine. However my dad and i have decided to cancel cable since we have a gazillion channels available to us via satellite.

Note: the only time i have been without cable were the years before gr4.

HOWEVER as of late our satellite has not been working and Rogers has officially cut us off from their services. The only channels available are ones from China- chinese culture, chinese-culture-in-english, chinese buddhism, chinese Falun Gong, chinese..chinese..chinese..you get the point. So my NEW summer routine has been to stay at school extra long to work out because you can watch tv in the cardio room (with THREE different channels), eat dinner, and to top things off, my relaxing event is to study my anatomy notes or to browse through the pictures in my anatomy textbook.

I came home today and was really itchying for some entertainment. I went for the 'chinese-culture-in-english' channel (since it was the only non-mandar channel) and ended up falling asleep for 2hrs- until someone called my house and woke me up.

Moral of the story- don't watch chinese-culture-in-english channels.

I've found a temporary replacement, online quizzes..har har

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What'>http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/">What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

2006-07-17T23:20:00.000-02:30

One of the major concepts that i learned in animal behavior was sexual selection:

females seek resources, while
males seek fertility/fecundity (conveyed through female appearance)

I had a chance to see this live out in the last couple of days.
I'm reminded why i'm sticking to my two 'C's.

When will sexual selection select for superficiality?

Modesty = out of fashion ?

2006-07-16T19:48:00.000-02:30

I was browsing through the blog world and found this link about compromising our fashion in order to be modest.. or do we have to?

This was an issue that i encountered during the retreat- how is a sister suppose to dress/act in order to help encourage our brothers in purity and not lead them further to sin. Does it mean that we have to dress like grandmas?

Part 1: http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/fashion_and_fol_1.html
Part 2: http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/fashion_and_fol_2.html
Part 3:
http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/fashion_and_fol_3.
Part 4: http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/fashion_and_fol_4.html

Here is a taste:
You see, immodest dress is more than simply wearing skimpy clothing. Often, it’s an expression of pride, the opposite of humility. Simply put, immodest clothes are pride on display. In his book Humility: True Greatness, my dad explains that “The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God, thereby attempting in effect to deprive God of something only He is worthy to receive. In other words, the immodest girl seeks to dress in a way that draws attention to herself and to her body, instead of serving others and bringing glory to the Savior...

And so, we must consider our motives
1. A desire to be selfish- we don't want to invest the time & effort required to find modest clothing

2. A desire to show off- i want people to think that i'm trendy; i want the attention from others that i should be directing to God instead.

3. A desire to seduce- in its infancy, there can be a desire for that lustful attention. We want to feel attractive and desireable. It temps men to sin against God's holiness.

“[Do not dress] from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…” Philippians 2:3-5

2006-07-13T23:47:00.000-02:30

It never stops.
I'm so tired.

More to come.

Oasis Retreat 2006

2006-06-18T22:09:00.000-02:30

After looking over the summary that Howard sent us, Aaron and i were both a little nervous about how the messages and 'tract' would turn out. So little faith.
Thank you Howard (aka Mr Vermont) =)

I expected the messages to be difficult, but i never could of thought that the Spirit would have convicted us in such ways and the degree of transparency and vulnerability....wow.

Another thing that 'stood out' was the conversations among some of the girls. I find it so difficult to open up now- mostly because i'm afraid of investing into a relationship and then loosing it. So i tend to open up to a certain point or only invest a certain amount of effort/time into a relationship. I really want to 'invest' in these friendships with the girls at church...Lord give me the courage to step out and be a blessing to my sisters.
__________
I've been reminded alot recently that it's not everything in the world. There are more important things- there is still alot of time.

And i think to myself, 'What was i thinking??? '
_________
Congratulations to all the recent graduates! Good job.

2006-06-07T20:18:00.000-02:30

I was really sad after meeting some of the children last week. And it got me wondering, how i would feel/react/live if my child was blind..and couldn't speak..or with any other disability. If all of his creation is made to glorify him..how is a child with such limitations suppose to do that? My heart was so heavy last week. I kept asking himself over and over again what i would do.

But THIS week i'm beginning to see what the children CAN do rather than what they can't. It's hard sometimes when i'm trying to communicate with a blind child who can't speak..cuz it feels like i'm talking to myself. But yea. I've been spending time with this little boy who is a little over a year old..and he's SOOOO smart and shows all his emtions. So cute. He would get really upset whenever anyone walks near the door cuz he thought he was getting left behind. And whenever you ask him a question, he always nods his head. He's so full of energy and loves to play and smile. He fell asleep in my arms today.

So yes, i'm liking this week alot more. I've been meeting alot of the other volunteers which is a nice bonus.

My highlight of the past week- hearing from Linda (aka Miss Hammy Ham Ham).

What i'm looking forward to- Oasis Retreat. I'm a little scared of what God will be telling us through Howard. Scared but excited. Although most of the ppl from Oasis is already serving in several different ministries inside and outside of tcac, we still have SOOO much potential to serve, to love, to do kingdom things. So i'm really excited about how Howard is going to challenge us- maybe to give up some things, and to take up other things. I think we're ready to climb higher.

I've also been thinking of the English Retreat alot. To be honest, they're not always the most fun retreats. But similarly, i'm excited about what our congregation will hear. I pray that we will get a good butt whipping.

2006-05-31T23:53:00.000-02:30

Mocktails and dancing =) Happy Birthday Narito

I started at Bloorview today...first day, we went to chuckiecheeeeese. I couldn't hold back, so i started to climb in those tubes that hang from the ceiling with the kids.

Meanwhile, I'm determined to give my liver a good cleansing.....so hungry.
Hope I last.

2006-05-27T23:31:00.001-02:30

Missing his ever dynamic wit.
Ahhh..

Lesson of the week.

2006-05-19T03:03:00.000-02:30

Lesson learned, never close your eyes while on a treadmill.

By time 27min, i started to get bored, so i closed my eyes for a split second...a very fast split. I opened my eyes and saw myself really far from the front...i tried to catch up but nope...fell flat on my face. This is while the treadmill was still rolling at speed 5.8. It then threw me onto the hard cold floor, there was trajectory! ...i then pulled myself up and turned off the treadmill.

A mainland girl asked if i was okay and went on to show me the bruise on her face when she got thrown down yesterday- i didn't know that falling off a treadmill was that common.

Now i'm left with a bruised chin and some scrapes.

Lesson learned.

2006-05-12T01:53:00.000-02:30

An utterly sudden and rude awakening.
Heavy panting. Blurred vision. Dry mouth.

If only all this motivation existed last year.
But being so far only pushes me to work harder. To get that 4.0. To run with all my might...to reach that prize.

It's definitly not the best feeling to realize that your will might not be aligned with God's. Ouch factor = 9.5
________
It seems like a good portion of my recent conversations has been about growing up, finishing up school (or for some, trying to continue) and determing our 'place' in this world. All this talk gets me all anxious..nervous..and excited inside.

I miss my mom.

2006-05-02T00:40:00.000-02:30

Finally over.
It's been an amazing year. So much to be thankful for and there were so many lessons learned.

I'm sad it's over.
Looking forward to this summer =) ...classes, research & volunteering

Exam Craze

2006-04-20T01:34:00.000-02:30

I was washing my face yesterday before going to bed. All of a sudden, i realized that my faced smelled REALLY REALLY fruity...and for some reason my facial cleanser was ultra foamy...
...that's when i realized that i use my antibacterial hand soap from bath and both works in sun riped raspberry instead.

I'm going crazy.

2006-04-06T02:47:00.000-02:30

I was at vcf and found myself engaging in really superficial converstaions. When i'm around ppl i don't know well, i totally shutdown- pure surface talk. I also found face stuck in a perma smile. The kind that doesn't convey any real emotion but aims to make others assume that you're 'friendly' or 'happy'.

Previously, i've had conversations w/ ppl about how christians feel pressured to be 'happy' all the time. And i think i've been 'criticized' cuz i'm not bouncing off the walls- that i'm too serious.

Jeeper. Can't a person be content and mellow at the same time? Just cuz i'm not acting like Tigger does not mean i'm depressed. I'll still laugh at your jokes- only if they're funny (i have a high threshold).

But yes, i do find myself falling into this trap. I feel as if i'm not testifying rightly if the image i give off is that my life is not perfect all the time. When i was showering today, i realized that witnessing is not us make believing to others that we have everything together. Witnessing can be done through our REACTIONS to the frustrating circumstances and stupid people around us. We're constantly reminded at church that following Christ is the 'road less taken'...and if our lives reflect that... why can't our actions? I'm not justifying actions of pessimism but if i'm stressed, then i'm stressed. If i'm upset at something, thn that's what it is. I'm a christian but i'm not stupid. I hate feeling this pressure to coat my every emotion so it's nice and fluffy for everyone else.

I'll complain if i have to but at the end of the day, i acknowledge that it's MY GOD that gets me through it.

2006-04-02T17:22:00.000-02:30

I miss my mom.

1 more week of classes- the next month is going to be brutal cosidering my exam schedule but at the same time i'm kind of excited. A test of my mental strength, BRING IT ON!

I'll take you down microbial biogeochemitry! GRRRRRR

AIYA

2006-03-28T03:40:00.000-03:30

My mom left for China over the weekend. I miss her already :( Counting down the 6 months starting.....nnnnnnnOW.

I also had a chance to reinforce a strong bond with Emily over this weekend. he hee. good times =) We made it to airport road without getting lost this time (i think it's cuz she was driving, i was half asleep, eating my Maria biscuits, so yummy).

I had my second last practical today. I said goodbye to some of my students. Kinda sad. Despite all the harassment through email and horrible marking hours, I've totally enjoyed interacting with students and having a chance to encourage them when they needed it. It's actually made me consider teaching.....but nah. Physio all the way =)

I'm so paranoid. I have a 50min presentation tomorrow that's worth 50% of my mark. So anxious.

In need of peace. The temptation to take my eyes off the important things continues to be strong. Where shall my help come from? You know my heart and my innermost thoughts, guard them and keep them pure. May they honor you.

Wow, this entry has been quite random.

Looking forward to worship nite for vcf.
Looking forward to end of Hazards.
Looking forward to the summer... ah...summer =)

2006-03-18T03:37:00.000-03:30

I've missed my comfort place =)

The craziness is finally over. The past two weeks has felt like i was reliving second year exams.

I sorta knew this before but it really hit me today a i was on the rowing machine. Earlier, i was in the hidden lab playing with crickets and i heard all this rukus outside. I went out to look and saw some of my students, so we started to chat. After i went to work out and as i was getting off the treadmill, i saw another student. A prayer that i've constantly had over the past 2 years is to have more opportunities to interact with people who are not believers yet. It seemed like such a slim chance cuz i can be really shy. Last semester, i was really excited when i was talking to my one and only muslim friend about what he believed. But wow. I realized today that when God answers, he answers BIG. I find it hard sometimes to show love without being too involved (due to the nature of the relationship). But then i realized, 'pray about it, DUH!!!'. hehe...i'm such a duh duh head.

2006-03-14T22:28:00.000-03:30

And i think to myself,
"Cheeseman, when will you save me?"

2006-03-06T01:59:00.000-03:30

It makes me sad when people who proclaim that they are Christians do stupid things, like break families apart.

We had company over for dinner. My mom's friend was divorced because her ex husband left her for another woman- a Christian woman. Now my mom's friend believes that the Church teaches people to break families apart. She asked me if my curch has taught me that yet. It made me so sad.

Apparently she had several other stories to tell about the actions of these 'Christian woman'

If you're not going to be serious about the title, don't take on the name.

Reading Week

2006-03-02T00:17:00.000-03:30

I couldn't have asked for anything more.
Toledo was awesome. Thanks MaMa Raaa... =) for cleaning my face after i eat, for giving me home made corticosteroids for my zits, for driving us shopping in Lexie, for making me coffee in the morning, for giving me -OH ate night. LOL

Thank you Mel for organizing!

1 more midterm.

2006-02-21T23:59:00.000-03:30

I don't know where to start. I need to update more frequently.

2 midterms before reading week. 2 more after reading week. 3 group assignments/presentations. 50 lab reports to mark. 1 mainland girl.

I had another traditional Lover's Day. A great night spent with the Carter Boys + Korean food. You guys are awesome. Then followed by some poker action at Ray's...although i didn't play.

I was privledged enough to be invited to a cottage getaway this weekend. I forgot to tug in my head while playing in the snow, that has resulted in a sore neck but it was well worth it. Nothing beats "british bulldog" and football in a huge snow bank that is higher than my hips. Trying to watch Broke Back Mountain was something else. And playing hockey was also a first- or should i say skating while holding a hockey stick. It was nice to spend time with friends, without worries of reality. It was an added bonus that the weekend was spent with the 'older' people.

I found out my dad almost died on saturday might. They had to call 911. Quite the reality check.

1 more day to study before the highly anticipted road trip to visit our drug dealing friends =))) eeeeee....CAN'T WAIT!

Ouch

2006-02-01T00:52:00.000-03:30

I Fell hard. But at least the lesson was worth learning =)

On a lighter note, when i was TAing on monday, one of the students asked how my TA experience was going. I said that i found the monday class more challenging because it's the first class of the week and sometimes things get messed up and the unexpected may occur so I always have to be on my toes. I asked to feel free to email me suggestions about my facilitating. And she said that everyone really appreciates my help. How usually TA's are just there for the sake of getting through the stuff but she was able to tell that I really cared about them and want them to do well. That conversation made my day =)

2006-01-30T00:35:00.000-03:30

Had to write this down before i forgot.

If i feel this way right now, how much more disappointed and upset God must be because his feelings for me are so much stronger. Each time i break a promise..everytime i say that i 'love him' but never following it up with my actions. How much his heart must ache. Yet his love for me is unfailing. He treasures this relationship and will continue to give it time to grow. How patience with me is beyond my ability to fathom.

So i turn around and look back at myself. How quickly i start to build walls around me when things go wrong; how i put myself in self pity and disappointment; how fast i give up hope; how finite my patience.

Too many times in the past, i dove into things while safety netting myself. I was reminded that sometimes we need to jump without holding back- even if i might be setting myself up for a big fall. I want to stop only taking the steps that are visible...i want to be all in, fearless of the hurt factor.

Here i go =)

Teaching

2006-01-19T01:44:00.000-03:30

I wanted to share with all you good ppl about my teaching experience thus far. I'm sitting here and i feel so blessed to be put into this position. So privledged to be entrusted to teach others in a secular environment- specially in an uni environment.

I took this course two years ago and had a pretty lousy TA. So besides my first goal of being decent, this TA has turned into a reference point, as long as I am not like her...meaning that I am enthusiastic, go the extra mile and write notes for students before class, make sure the students know what they're doing, give sufficient feedback on quizzes and labs and CARE about how they're doing, which translates into being approachable.

Moreover, I want to be a good testimony to those I have the opportunity to interact with. Right now that means the other TA's that i work with, the 50 students that i see every week and the grad students that work in the lab. It's totally Daddy who allowed all this to happen...and i don't want to let him down. I am UBER excited about the mission field i have right now...so insanely crazy.

So monday came..i had my first lab. I was really really nervous. I got there 3hrs before the class to prepare myself. I was whispering prayers throughout....So the students came in...i did my thing. Some of them stayed longer and i had a chance to chat with them...good times =)
i'm excited bout tmw.

oh and ofcourse big props to Norman he's been so helpful and supportive through all of this =)

On a totally unrelated note, i'm so excited to start playing vball again.. there's no team for vcf this term so the team i'm playing for is called "HOT SPOT"...BOOYA!

Jobs

2006-01-12T16:15:00.000-03:30

Hired =)
First getting a position in a prof's lab and now a TA position! all within one week. Thank you Lord for providing. Everything worked out so well and my teaching experience from the summer provided the perfect topping to all of it. To think that i was so flustered about getting a 'suitable' work experience...so awesome.

No more shoppers, no more waitressing, no more handling out resumes in vain. For now, fly larvae, crickets, and physiology labs =)

P.S. I LOVE YOU MELODY LI! =)

Play Time

2005-12-21T19:56:00.000-03:30

The last few weeks has passed so quickly. Lots of changes ahead..

1. Visited kingstom. Thanks mel =) so much drama, so much fun, so many people, so little studying. I love a library where you can actually bring food in and eat it without trying to be sneaky

2. Christmas Celebration. I was pleasantly surprised. It was such a long day but so awesome how well everything worked out. Thanks for all those who helped out and participated. I'm scared to think about next year's program.

Ethan is SOOOOO cute
"Ethan, are you trying to woo me?"
Ethan nodding.
he hee..i fell in love

3. Cramming for 2 exams in 1 day. That was quite stressful. I've never had to cram so much in such a short time period. It felt like the early high school days , except Mic wasn't around to teach me everything. Despite the high stress level, both exams went relatively well. Both of them required alot of writing. I wrote about 3 of those booklets in total. I woke up in the middle of the night with a cramp in my left arm...woe to the science student!

4. Parents came back. BOTH OF THEM! so happy =) but my mom is going back in a month...for a very long time =(

5. Done! ...it was so difficult trying to focus on studying after my parents came back. I could've done better if i wasn't so distracted this morning. Oh well..still gotta shake it off
But yes...finished! Party Hearty!!!! =)

2005-12-01T18:29:00.000-03:30

spinning, elliptical, treadmill....oh how i love thee =)) Working out has become my fav pass time at school. Nothing like running on the treadmill after a serious study session.

[few hours later]
So...how do you REALLY know if you like someone?
a) sweaty palms...when your heart becomes asychronized
b) when you want their happiness over yours
c) when you're afraid of what will happen if you don't take a risk
d) when you feel safe and just enjoy their company
e) other? all of the above? none of the above?

...not that i like someone..just wondering he hee =)

Stuck on Pisgah and can't move forward

Homesick

2005-11-29T15:11:00.000-03:30

I spent a good amt of time last time crying to my mom about my frustration. It seems so silly and immature but simultaneously it still resides. This experience has taught me how much i value my parents. I'm so thankful to have a tight relationship with them. I can tell my mom anything and i can laugh with (or at) my dad about anything. I feel homesick. 22 more days.

I know they have good intentions but generation clash is inevitable when you're together almost 24/7. As a result of this, i'm taking every opportunity to get out of the house. I can't wait til Kingston..thanks for taking me in =)

I got my religion paper mark. Ha haa. So much for an evangelistic paper..the proclaimation of faith does not go well with the academics. Oh well. Take it as a learning experience.

Frustrated.

2005-11-21T03:05:00.001-03:30

Weekend ended off on a good note ..but the jap buffet and roots sweater was quite the highlight =)

Finally finished Meteor Garden II- you can't beat taiwanese dramas.

I REALLY missed my parents these couple of days. I'm not sure how much of my grandparents i can take. They have good intentions...but AHHHH. I want to stab myself sometimes...esp when it's 5am and my grandpa is calling China...ON THE SPEAKER PHONE...meanwhile, he's still yelling. Sigh.
My parents were thinking about coming back early...but that means at least $240 difference on their flight- they decided against it =( Another month left.

I shared about my China trip with the Mandarin Congregation. I started off explaining why I had a burden for china. I got teary..and did that thing where your lips shake and you can't speak. After taking a few minutes to get myself together, i continued through the rest of the ppt in my bad mandarin. I ended up staying for the entire service- it was such a blessing. The congregation grew immensely since the last time i was there- probably around 2yrs ago. Praise Him! and i was able to chat w/ some ppl after. One person offered to hook me up with a teaching job if i ever wanted to go back. I was really by the passion and sincerity. I really wish my mandarin was better..and i was literate.

I'm REALLY putting off this english essay. Sigh. My last assignment before finals.

And as for that something something.. it's a no go.

2005-11-21T03:05:00.000-03:30

UPdate

2005-11-11T00:01:00.000-03:30

Just overall, very content.

I submitted my first university level essay today for religion. I'm very nervous and kind of excited. I wrote about why missions exist in Christianty and used the Bible as my primary source. My conclusion was two things..love and obedience. Thanks to all those who played devils advocate.

As i was going through my bible, trying to find verses and i was surprised by the number of scripture that eluded to those two things- it reinforced how important evangelism is.

One of my fav is Rom 10:14-15. "How, then, can they call on the on ethey have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear w/o someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?" For "the harvest is plentiful and the laborers are few" Matt 9:37.

"Evangelism is not the fine print at the end of an agreement- it is the telling of a love story. Moreover, missionary work is not based on unfathomable theology that is only reserved for scholars and righteous men. The rationality resides in love and obedience. "

But i think somehow i have become desensitized in the sense i'm not going "whoa"..but perhaps i'm just moving away from emotions and more onto knowing what i need to do. I dunno, i need new eyes when reading God's word. I hope that somehow, God will go with that essay...and be with whichever TA that is grading it. Not so much for a good grade (although that would be nice) but more so understanding.

Now that the storm is over, i went back to the cardio room. Good times- esp when i'm on the elliptical and Oprah is on =)

I'm addicted to interhouse vball!..so much fun. I love vball. It's such a good way to not think about school..or assignments or whatever. Ah.. i'm still so pumped from tonite..he he. We had such an awesome team, there were 4 of us asians..and we played against 6 um..white ppl..and we rocked them!..they set me up a few times and i even got a hit..he hee...but i still prefer being setter. I'm playing for vcf (varsity christian fellowship)...and today i think we allowed ourselves to exemplify what the team name stood for through our spirit and encouraging words to each other. After the game, a guy from the other team commented that this has been the funnest game he's played all season =)

In light of what i've been "thinking"..i wanted to post up the Risk poem..but too lazy. You can find it on Adrian's blog (I'm advertising for you!)...It's such a challenge when the situation applies to yourself.

I miss my parents. 1.5 months left. - my mom bought me a coconut bra..so excited ha haa.

2005-10-29T14:17:00.000-02:30

I spent a good 3hrs of my life last night sitting in a council meeting for the student gov't at school. The decision was to seek the councils status on the issue of having exams on sundays. After a long debate with many well thought out and articulated views, it was decided- SCSU is going to advocate for Sunday Exams as a solution for not having enough exam days in the fall semester. Despite the overwhelming majority of students who attended the meeting for this issue and the undenying side that these students took, when it came down to it..when all the SCSU directors had to vote, their hands reached for their personal opinions. Holding onto personal grudges that existed long before the issue on the table, then voted out of spite.

I don't think i am as upset about the issue of having to write exams on sundays as i am about how these directors has let down the students. I can live with taking out 2 sundays out of my life to write an exam..and i can even probably get to write it earlier/later in the same week for 'religious reasons'. But the fact that these directors did not have integrity towards the promises they made during campaign season simply hurts.

Needless to say that i was greatly disppointed that those who were elected as the voice box of the student body failed to represent its body. Greatly disappointed. Who knows what else goes on in that room?

There is one Christain who has a voting status on that board. She's only a second year student and i can see the older students making trouble for her in the future. She is also on another commitee with the dean and her role on that commitee can override the decisions of SCSU. She is quite passionate about this issue and will not doubt, will not let this be the end. Pray for her.
_____
My parents has been gone for a week and i really miss them. The situation w/ my granparents has gotten better..they try to sleep early so i get quiet studying time...except they still wake up at 6am...and the chinese opera and cooking primes my awakening not so long after.

This has been a great and some what 'stressful' week. Although i don't think i was actually stressed at any point. I had three exams this week and i'm asking myself why i didn't take these courses earlier. With the exception of the 2 surprise essays on the English exam, they've been awesome! And who knows, perhaps i was able to bs my way through that exam.

2005-10-18T16:30:00.000-02:30

GRRRR you, Warran G!

Rules of the game:Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this.
1. Last saturday night, i went to a buffet with a friend..ate too much and decided to go walking around in my neighborhood (w/ someone else) to "relieve" myself from such agony- this was around 10pm. We walked and walked...and then these 3 "colored" guys starts to towards us in a thuggish kind of way. I got so scared. So we turned around to walk back. Then they started to follow us and was "boo!-ing" me. I got more scared and started running. Sigh.

2. I was known to be good in math and it was my favorite subject until gr12. It all went downhill from there.

3. I enjoy walking around and observing/watchin the interactions of those around me. I can walk for hours.

4. Sometimes, i pretend to be extroverted.

5. Gasey! Oh so very gasey (i.e. right now- 90% of the time)

NEXT: Adrian Wang, Brent Chan, Michael Carter, Matthew Carter (DO IT!) and Faith Lee.

2005-10-14T16:07:00.000-02:30

God answers quickly- Thank YOU!
How..? through the women's small group at VCF. This fellowship has turned out to be quite the blessing. Let me not forget His encouragement.

Interhouse volleyball. Good times. Our first victory was nice and sweet
- GO VCF!

I didn't die in spinning this week. And i was able to ride standing up for a 8min hill..WOOT!

Lastly, I GOT MY G LICENCE!!!!

It's currently the stillness that precedes a storm. Like when the waters reside back into the ocean before a tsunami hits. Time to prepare for the disaster (i.e. hitting the books).

2005-10-10T02:39:00.000-02:30

Perhaps i am overly sensitive but i can't help but be discouraged.

Forgetting why i first believed.
I think i'm getting confucius and christianity mixed up. It's not just about being a good person. Lord remind me.

Pain

2005-10-05T19:05:00.000-02:30

On friday night a bunch of us from vcf fellowship went downtown to UT to hear Ken Fong speak. He's a pastor in L.A. and was one of the speakers at Urbana 2000. He's very good at what he does. But after 5 days, i only remember a few things. The theme of the night was that we are univeristy students for 'a time such as this'. He talked about how christians has lost credibility to the secular world. He talked about how our generation smells a big rat- what is preached is not what is reinforced in our churches (espeically for chinese christians). We are called to be 'radical christians'; to be kingdom seekers; to live without compromise yet in our families and churches, all is good as long as we honor our parents, get those nice university degrees, find a well paid job, have the 2.5 kids, a big house ...all is good...as long as we tithe. Although this stigma is more true for some circles than others, this generation nontheless smell a big 'RAT'. Have we been lied to? Have we been gyped?

So the main point this guy was trying to get across is to be kingdom seekers. He gave an example of a student from his church asking him if he should go to Stanford or Harvard. His response was whether this person should go to university at all- was he ready?

I enjoyed the night. It was one of those messages that required a response. Although it was very 'moving, it is just as easy to go back to that old school thought.
_________
Saturday and Sunday was spend at circle square ranch with about 17 other individuals. I'm glad i went on this retreat. Although i froze the entire night (while wearing 4 layers + winter jacket + mits + 2 pairs of socks + sleeping bag), i'm really glad i was there. Saturday was mostly chilling: we got there, went to grab lunch, played some card games, horse back riding (i didn't) , "session", dinner, hayride, bonfire + worship. I was quite tired, i went back to the teepee around 12 but some of them stayed out there til 3am singing and chatting.

Sunday began with breakfast and a 3hr "session"- reading, writing, discussing, coffee break, discussion, more discussion..
The retreat "sessions" were not what i was use to. I got out my notebook and bible, expecting someone to preach at me. But instead we did hardcore manuscript style bible study. It was my frist time doing someting like that. I wasn' t use to it at first but caught on. I think i got more out of it than the traditional bible studies where you read the passage and answer a bunch of questions.

And yes, it was also a good opportunity to have fellowship. I was thoroughly encouraged by those i met. After the bonfore, 3 other ppl and i got together to share and pray. VERY VERY encouraging. It reminded me of ol high school days.
And no, no boys =)
___________
I went to work out at school for the first time yesterday. Did some cardio stuff. Then later in the day i had my spinning class. Goodness....i realized that i have absolutely NO upper body strength. When we were doing intervals standing up, i kept collapsing cuz my arms killed. My legs are fine today but my shoulders are killing (hence the title of this entry). Yea....no upper body strength :(
The instructor came up to me after class and asked me if i was okay.. lol that's how bad it was. This 60yr old lady was doing better than i ....ha haa....oi

Looking forward to this weekend =)