Not studying

Legs crossed, sitting at a cubicle desk in the quiet study room on the third floor of the Academic Resource Center. Lecture notes from all three classes lay scattered on the desk. A thick physiology textbook cracked open to a random page. The aroma from a tall cup of fair trade and shade grown coffee fills up my little nook. Another beautiful Saturday "wasted" at school. I want to think that I've returned to what most students refer to as 'exam mode', but the sad part is that I don't think I've ever left it since three months ago. Sad. As I struggle to finish typing up lecture notes from yet another course taken for no other value than to be checked off for that neuroscience program, I can't help but ponder- "did i miss the blessing?"

With only one more week left of classes and less than a month left of undergrad life, it only seems natural to reflect on the last four years. Looking back, I see why God led me to stay in Toronto when most people left town after high school. I can see the blessings I've received from Oasis and opportunities to serve at TCAC that I would never have been able to do if I were out of town. I've been encouraged be part of the growth of others spiritually as well as the growth of Oasis quantitatively. I've been encouraged by women from all generations in sunday school (back when I use to go). And ofcourse I am now closer to my parents than I have ever been - they're awesome!

Despite all of these good things. I know I could've done so much more - that I could have allowed God to use me so much more. This last year has been full of nerdy days and weeks. There was one point where I spent 15hrs at school everyday, for a month. I can think of so many times when I traded the opportunity to spend time with people and build relationships for more time to get intimate with my notes. And now at the end of this road, I beg the question, "was it worth it"? This feels like a very Carrie Bradshaw moment (minus the sex part).

In the realm of University life and associated academic 'competition' and scarcity of time, how does one balance having a life and maintaining the desired GPA? When do you decide that enough is enough? I am not talking about using your own strength vs. doing nothing and totally 'relying on God'. I am refering to how to reconcile fully living out this season as a university student without compromising opportunities to bring glory to the Kingdom. Is efficiency the key? Time management?