The Slippery Slope
"Search my heart oh Lord and know my anxious thoughts..." (Jeremiah)
It's scary how fast my heart can waver. How well it can deceit...myself. How well it tries. Although my heart is so important, i do such a horrible job of taking care of it. Although i share with others that we should guard our hearts at all cost, i fail to do so myself. Sigh. Linda would be disappointed. When will i learn? It's all about Him. I am nothing-merely a piece of clay in the hands of my Potter. After everything He's done for me, you'd think i've learned that by now. But time after time, it comes back to haunt me. I feel like Israel and the vicious cycle it goes through in the Old Testament.
"It was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind" (Lewis, 1980). No matter how watchful, i find myself fallen back into this pit hole. Pride. Such a simple word but is capable of doing so much damage. It's so frustrating.
Abba Daddy, when will i learn? My prayer is simple- Let me see nothing in myself. Help me to forget myself altogether. Hear my petition my God! Change my heart. Change the lense in which i look through. Let it be all you and nothing less. My heart so easily hardens and yet i did not even know it. Lord bring me to my knees and brokeness. Only then will i fall completely. Thank you Daddy b/c you hear these words. Thank you for drawing me near :) Amen.
It's scary how fast my heart can waver. How well it can deceit...myself. How well it tries. Although my heart is so important, i do such a horrible job of taking care of it. Although i share with others that we should guard our hearts at all cost, i fail to do so myself. Sigh. Linda would be disappointed. When will i learn? It's all about Him. I am nothing-merely a piece of clay in the hands of my Potter. After everything He's done for me, you'd think i've learned that by now. But time after time, it comes back to haunt me. I feel like Israel and the vicious cycle it goes through in the Old Testament.
"It was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind" (Lewis, 1980). No matter how watchful, i find myself fallen back into this pit hole. Pride. Such a simple word but is capable of doing so much damage. It's so frustrating.
Abba Daddy, when will i learn? My prayer is simple- Let me see nothing in myself. Help me to forget myself altogether. Hear my petition my God! Change my heart. Change the lense in which i look through. Let it be all you and nothing less. My heart so easily hardens and yet i did not even know it. Lord bring me to my knees and brokeness. Only then will i fall completely. Thank you Daddy b/c you hear these words. Thank you for drawing me near :) Amen.
posted by A Mandar @ 1:21 p.m.
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