Kaleidoscope

The image changes with each turn- no matter how suble. Sometimes the simplest arc can produce the most beautiful projections. Others, not so much.

Life has been similar. Confined within a little cylinder are countless combinations and permutations of the most beautiful or horrific images...of thoughts. How can two extremes co-exist?
One of the greatest challenges as a first generation Christian is consistency- in this case, at home. To live with integrity at home. To be a testimony to your parents/siblings 24/7. Since they have known you the "n" number of years of your life, it's difficult for them to take you seriously. Then there's the pride factor- parents should experience things first, not the other way around. On the other hand, it's tempting to 'let yourself go', since there isn't much of an expectation for "Christian standards" in the first place. I often find myself living a double life in those little things; in the things that add up.

Although i've been praying for my parents for quite a number of years and it's discouraging. As a result i often find myself more enthusiastic to evangelize to those i don't know..rather than those that sleep in the next room. In that sense, i almost feel 'guilty' that i'm going away this summer, meanwhile there are unbelievers living under the same roof.
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The past month has been slow and painful- mostly slow. It's difficult to do nothing but i can't say that i miss school (not yet). I still feel caught in the dangers of freetime- unproductivness.

In terms of relationships, i think the time when i more "desire" one is when i feel furthest from God. That's been my recent epiphany.

We all want to be loved and not be alone..but it's where you channel it. What good is a relationship when it doesn't have the bond of True Love? I feel it's really important for two people to walk together in Love. "Love" is not instant gratification nor is it isolation. God is love.
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Watched Crash yesterday with emily. I recommand it however i wasn't sure what to do with it after or how to take it. I walked for almost 2hrs after..and finally decided to blog it. The theme is racism but ...in everyone. Whites may be racist about blacks..but similarly, blacks maybe racist towards whites- it's in all of us. We all despise it when we're the victim of the stereotype yet when time is opportune, we easily take the same path. For myself, racial stereotypes are often the key to my sarcastic jokes.

Intro sociology taught us that stereotypes are true for generalizations but false for specific situations. If you look at it from a psychological basis..aren't our treatment of stereotypes similar to self-fulfilling prophecies?

I guess i'm still not sure how to take this movie. To be less "racist"? Maybe if we all stop addin to these stereotypes. Maybe if we stop seeing others through the lense that because this person dresses or is this color..then .... and begin to see others as a person with families, with hardships, that were created by the same Creator. Again, i recommand the movie.
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Last one (i promise), first missions training this saturday. I'm excited, a little scared, eager..
Pray for:
- team unity, dynamics
- that our letter of invitation to teach arrives asap. We need it to apply for visas.