Had to write this down before i forgot.

If i feel this way right now, how much more disappointed and upset God must be because his feelings for me are so much stronger. Each time i break a promise..everytime i say that i 'love him' but never following it up with my actions. How much his heart must ache. Yet his love for me is unfailing. He treasures this relationship and will continue to give it time to grow. How patience with me is beyond my ability to fathom.

So i turn around and look back at myself. How quickly i start to build walls around me when things go wrong; how i put myself in self pity and disappointment; how fast i give up hope; how finite my patience.

Too many times in the past, i dove into things while safety netting myself. I was reminded that sometimes we need to jump without holding back- even if i might be setting myself up for a big fall. I want to stop only taking the steps that are visible...i want to be all in, fearless of the hurt factor.

Here i go =)

Teaching

I wanted to share with all you good ppl about my teaching experience thus far. I'm sitting here and i feel so blessed to be put into this position. So privledged to be entrusted to teach others in a secular environment- specially in an uni environment.

I took this course two years ago and had a pretty lousy TA. So besides my first goal of being decent, this TA has turned into a reference point, as long as I am not like her...meaning that I am enthusiastic, go the extra mile and write notes for students before class, make sure the students know what they're doing, give sufficient feedback on quizzes and labs and CARE about how they're doing, which translates into being approachable.

Moreover, I want to be a good testimony to those I have the opportunity to interact with. Right now that means the other TA's that i work with, the 50 students that i see every week and the grad students that work in the lab. It's totally Daddy who allowed all this to happen...and i don't want to let him down. I am UBER excited about the mission field i have right now...so insanely crazy.

So monday came..i had my first lab. I was really really nervous. I got there 3hrs before the class to prepare myself. I was whispering prayers throughout....So the students came in...i did my thing. Some of them stayed longer and i had a chance to chat with them...good times =)
i'm excited bout tmw.

oh and ofcourse big props to Norman he's been so helpful and supportive through all of this =)

On a totally unrelated note, i'm so excited to start playing vball again.. there's no team for vcf this term so the team i'm playing for is called "HOT SPOT"...BOOYA!

Jobs

Hired =)
First getting a position in a prof's lab and now a TA position! all within one week. Thank you Lord for providing. Everything worked out so well and my teaching experience from the summer provided the perfect topping to all of it. To think that i was so flustered about getting a 'suitable' work experience...so awesome.

No more shoppers, no more waitressing, no more handling out resumes in vain. For now, fly larvae, crickets, and physiology labs =)


P.S. I LOVE YOU MELODY LI! =)