A failed attempt by a wannabe nerd.

Ah my first all nighter of the semester. Went to bed around 7am this morning and got up 4hrs later to study. Neuropsychology and Cognitive Neuroscience....Say what!?!?!?! yeai don't know either. That's right, after a week of continuous studying for this course, i'm lucky if i end up with a 65%. Sigh. It was THAT bad. 9 Chapters (that he DID NOT cover in class), each consiting of at least 30-40 pages. Word for word on the exam and you have to pick out the WRONG statement. I bet if i wrote an exam like that for my lil mr Michael J. Fox look alike prof, he wouldn't even be able to ace it. Yeppers, i'm quite bitter. Quite. Ar. The only thing i've got from all this "learning" is pnaranoia that i'll some how hurt my head and end up with one of those disorders- watch me start develping tics he hee. Well if you ever to be diagnosed, you know who to ask *wink* <65% of the time, i'll be right, hopefully. Right now, school is so much more than it should be. I guess that's how uni should be but this is depressing and NOT b/c my serotonin & norepinephrine levels are low ha.

Oh well. Another super nerdy week ahead- neuroscience & an ecology paper. Then i'll be sort of free...that is unless 2 weeks later. Nontheless, i'm thankful for this experience. God has blessed me with a super human brain with lots of convulsions and a huge capacity to learn =) So let's all try to make as many synapses as possible! YEA! Nerd Power! ^__^

Spinning...hard

Another 2 exams out of the way. 4 down, 3 more to go. Then one week of break and finals begin. Ai i can't wait til xmas. Sit around, do nothing and have my shrek marathon he hee. Cell bio went well. Not 100% but definitly not bad. Stats DEFINTILY went well. I can't believe how easy it was. Gosh. Considering how i started studying at 10pm fri nite...it was VERY well. So not a horrible calc exam like in previous years. I love stats ^__^ But i think all that fun in <24hrs> studying withdrawl syndrome!!!! yep, i think so.

I'm just really thankful this week is over. From now on, only ONE exam perweek..YESS!!!! Since time and sleep has been quite minimal this week, my attitude and consideration for others has also diminsihed exponentially...or maybe logarithmally..?...ln? ha haa.. you get the point. But i was reminded this morning that God has my days already written in his books. His plans are only for my good, my hope. And despite all my shortcomings..and all the disappointments i have in myself and those others have of me..and ESPECIALLY the things that don't measure up for Him, he still wants to LAVISH his love onto me. I can't really fathom that concept right now. It's difficult cuz i know i can't do it for others.

I'm so thankful for my oasis. It was so hard to get up this morning. I'm so tired but i miss worshipping God w/ my family. It was great! *Jesus loves me, this i know!*

I'm gettin really good at this blogging thing. Meh, so what if i have a cell bio exam in less than 15hrs. It's only worth 45% of my mark =) Sometimes i forget that ppl actually read these silly things that i write. Ah.

I'm really thankful for a specific person today. We at school to study tmw's exam and it REALLY helped. I feel much more confident about tmw but no guarantees heh. Sometimes, you just need someone else you ask you questions so that you can see the things you know and those that you don't. I guess it works the same way spiritually. We need accountability- ppl to ask questions that we think we have the answers to already. I guess that continues to be a prayer item- an accountabiliyt partner who is willing to seriously commit.

The hot ecology prof told us that he's going to bell the marks by 5% *smile*. A MD that is not only hot but generous =) ha haa.. no comments plz. And apparently he did see ppl cheating and they will generously receive a grade of 0. But if he's going t bell by 5% does that mean that they get 5%? Hm.

Even though it's only the 2nd week of midterms and i still have another good 3 weeks left, i decided to relax this saturdy after stats. Gonna meet up w/ a friend, hopefully that works out. Study hard folks! Just don't let it consume you ^__^

Aging

Another wednesday dedicated to midterms. Cell bio on fri then stats on saturdy. I'm really nervous about cell bio. I need to redeem myself after how neuro went. Sigh. And to top it off, after i watched my neuro lectures, i noticed that she gave MANY hints about what was on the exam, very unfair to those who are online students. Very unfair. BAH. Then i heard how in ecology, many ppl started to cheat at the end. Once again, very unfair. You'd think that the hot/genius prof can at least make multiply versions of the exam. Arg. Yes, i'm quite bitter.
As for now, non stop cell bio. I understand everything- all the mechanisms and what not but it feel like nothing is being retained. 20eh? getting old. Aiya. Mindless memorizing is suppose to be my specialty!!!! BOOO.

On a brighter note, i'm really enjoyin driving he hee.. still. The 30min in the morning, praying, meditating. I don't know how safe it is when i'm driving at 120km/h but it's the time of day i actually look forward to =)

*breath out*

Ah :) Two down, 5 more to go. Well, there you go, wrote two exams in two days. A nice pat on the back and then a nicer pat on the belly :) Neuro was last nite, i'm bitter b/c it was harder than what everyone said. But ecology was alright...esp w/ that nice prof :) Ahem.

The weekend was awesome. Sunday nite at andrew's was nice. Food was awesome. Lots of gluttony. Then it was so awesome to see everyone at adrian's place. Sharing, praying..very soothing. I was also really encouraged to hear the stories shared by everyone. It's so cool how we're separated geologically and yet our hearts beat to the same tune. The fellowship that we share is far greater than distance. They also got a cake for brent and I. That was sweet. And Sammi's stars. And duri, i miss her. And ya...it was just really nice. It felt so familiar..so comforting...so natural.

It's also been fun driving around. So much freedom! ha haa..although i have to walk 10min to school but meh...the singing in the car is worth it. I think these few days God has really shown me the friendships that he's blessed me with...not only high school friends whose gone away but the ones i have right here, esp at church. Benneth dropped by the other day w/ a nice surprise and then yesterday, i found a very nice CHEESEcake that brandon left. So sweet.

New year prayer requests? That the fire, the cup and whatever you want to call it will be renewed; will be overflowed once again; will run fully and abundantly through and through. That passion and burden will resound in the life i live and lead. That the truths i confess with my lips and writing will be more than 2 dimentional. That relationships will be blessed more so. That i will take the risks, whatever i am called to take and not be afraid to do so...in order to receive that blessing. To be motivated. To be able to see the bigger picture. Humility. Patience. To put others and Him first. To see non of myself but all of Him. To learn to see myself thru His eyes. To become a woman that makes God smile, to stop breaking His heart. To be a revolutionary, but first within myself. To find an accountability partner/group and/or a mentor. I really need that maturity i my life when i try to deceive myself.

shhhhHHHHHHHH....procrastinating...shhhhhhHHHHHH

How can i resist? That's right, i can't. Midterms officially started next week..stats quiz of tues, neuroscience on wed nite, ecology on thurs nite...then two more the week after..then another one...then two more...then ecology essay due...ahhhhhhHHHHhh...and here i am. I guess the pressure hasn't really seeped though yet...just like a steeped tea from Tims, i need more time to sit on it. Besides ecology & Brain+Behavior...and maybe my neuro lab, well definitly my neuro lab, i feel quite up to date..ha haa..meaning just stats..oh..and cell bio..ya, not up to date..but i know my stats :) ha haa. Ah. Big day tomrrow..if i've told you bout it, plz pray for me..3:50pm! If i never mention it agin, then don't bring it up either. If i mention it again, then you'll know what i'm talkin bout.

Oh ya, after this weekend, i'll be missing the next 2 oasis programs..BOOOOO...sucks so much. But small groups are starting..that's pretty cool, i'm really looking foward to developing deeper relationships & having ppl to be accountable to. Again, i still really miss the intensity of relationships that i experienced in high school...but just as the seasons change, so do the seasons of one's life. This is why i hate expectations..only set myself up to be disappointed...EXPECT NOTHING!