Motivation
Seriously lacking (motivation) right now- esp school. It's ironic b/c the exam coming up is about motivation.. well the neurobiology & neurocircuitry behind it. I wish i can take some drugs or get some microelectrodes so i can stimulate myself back to having it. heh.. right.
I realized i don't work well in a competing environment. Although my previous blog probably eluded to it. Like with these exams.. the profs want us to do bad inorder to maintain the perfect bell curve..i.e. class avg at 65%. Sigh...it's so discouraging.. he wants us to do bad!!! Some ppl thrive on this...it challenges/motivates them. But for myself, i much rather be in an env't where ppl build each other up and help each other...but then i guess everyone would do well and there would be no evenly distributed, normal curve.
I went to a Japanese percussion concert last night. It was interesting. There were two emsembles..one being a tranditional Jap group..and the other being these 2 guys (think they're called GaPa and featuring this other guy). I really enjoyed the Jap group...they used traditional drums..and cymbols...and it sounded very.. um.. "ethnic". But the other group just seemed to use ANYTHING to make repeptitive beats. I'm probably the one who can't appreciate all this "culture"..but it started to get boring after a while. At first i thought it was really cool how he was using the piece of block he was sitting on to make music...but after a while it got boring. And some of the pieces were scary.. it you closed your eyes it sounded like a horror movie. Overall, it was too much sensory stimulation for me. I got a really bad headache by the end of the night. This is what happens when i try to be "cultured".
I realized i don't work well in a competing environment. Although my previous blog probably eluded to it. Like with these exams.. the profs want us to do bad inorder to maintain the perfect bell curve..i.e. class avg at 65%. Sigh...it's so discouraging.. he wants us to do bad!!! Some ppl thrive on this...it challenges/motivates them. But for myself, i much rather be in an env't where ppl build each other up and help each other...but then i guess everyone would do well and there would be no evenly distributed, normal curve.
I went to a Japanese percussion concert last night. It was interesting. There were two emsembles..one being a tranditional Jap group..and the other being these 2 guys (think they're called GaPa and featuring this other guy). I really enjoyed the Jap group...they used traditional drums..and cymbols...and it sounded very.. um.. "ethnic". But the other group just seemed to use ANYTHING to make repeptitive beats. I'm probably the one who can't appreciate all this "culture"..but it started to get boring after a while. At first i thought it was really cool how he was using the piece of block he was sitting on to make music...but after a while it got boring. And some of the pieces were scary.. it you closed your eyes it sounded like a horror movie. Overall, it was too much sensory stimulation for me. I got a really bad headache by the end of the night. This is what happens when i try to be "cultured".
posted by A Mandar @ 8:17 p.m.
1 Comments:
At 1:22 p.m.,
Jaysfreak said…
I totally agree that we should live in an env't where ppl build each other up! This hardcore competitiveness and "you're on your own" mentality can be really unhealthy. Many people can't take it and it can cause them to turn onto the wrong path...I've seen it..
Go Jesus!
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