Kind of Random

I finally got enough guts to email them...not expecting anything outta this..just a good learning experience if anything. People with authority scare me...respect..but fear follows.

Exams went alright...i enjoyed my bio exams..but the neuro ones screwed me over. It's okay, i don't want to worry about it- there's nothing to worr about. I think i'm good with being school-free for the next 4 months. Reading is for fun from now on!

My first day of being "officially" done. I don't know what to do with myself..there's so much TO do but ah..i don't know where to start. Freedom is scary!

OH OH GUYS GUESS WHAT.....I MIGHT MEET UP WITH LINDA (MISS HAM) IN BEIJING!!!! isn't that crazy???

Should i get a full time job for 2 months..? Ae? =) ..ha ha..there would be no saving there.

To do list
1. prep for mission trip
2. promo for oasis retreat
3. plan for english retreat
4. softball- devos(?)
5. start/finish reading those books i've always wanted to read
6. store away my notes and put away textbooks
7. clean room
8. jogging/ get in shape. No tanning for me. After that section in molecular bio about cancer..i think i'll stick to being pasty yellow =) ...i like my good p21 gene!
9. "catch up" with ppl
10. [spontaneity] we'll see

Even during finals

Once again, i'm amazed at how God entrusts me with relationships and opportunities to be a witness and participate in His Kingdom.

Studying with a childhood/family friend at school today. He's an atheist. We rarely see each other but usually have nice conversations when the opportunity arises. We talked a bit today during the study breaks. I gave him a ride home and we talked in the car...so amazing. When he got out, he said something along the lines of, "God seems to make you really happy...talking to you and hearing your views makes me happy ". During the ride, he also said, "maybe it's time to stop becming an atheist". I didn't want to force or push anything...but the seed's been planted. Hopefully this is the beginning of something amazing.. [I DON'T MEAN ROMANTICALLY!!!!!].

He's interested in playing softball. I'm gonna ask him to come to the retreat. Another item to add to the list =)))))) (that's how hard i'm smiling)

stupped-stupid

Another eventful prayer meeting with MSI.

David Fuller's brother, John Fuller was sharing...he works for OMF. We had a nice chat about "dave" after.

The prayer meeting was what i needed to bring things back into perspective. Gathing as believers with a heart and passion for China has put my petty and minut problems back where they belong...nonexistence.

Two things that John shared really struck me.
1. It's not our great faith that saves people...but our Great God.
2. John shared about his chinese friend- his friend said that chinese churches pray that they won't turn into 'those Western churches'. Our abundance easily masks kingdom issues with petty nonsense.

I feel stupid. sigh. I was reminded why i hate mingling with ppl i dunno. I suck at making new impressions. Maybe i'll share the details later in person...but mark my words...i SHALL work on my interpersonal skills...or else amanda will start hiding in the corner from now on. Sigh.

Done

Temporarily. Endured my last lecture, last night.

Before i start my ranting... Prayer Request: a fully time or a couple of part time jobs for may & june. I'm even willing to give (dare i say it..)..foot massages.

To those who actually read this, you might have noticed that my entries have not been very "deep"...content has been rather superficial..not much personality etc. It's not b/c i'm lazy, although yes, i am.

Not everything needs to be said, more importantly, I don't think everything needs to be posted for the public to see. And i certainly don't believe in "shocking" people or using this as a medium to "reveal" anything. If people were really interested in the lives of others, they would ask. If we really wanted to share something, we would do it in a personal way, no matter how hard it is. We would spend time, we would sacrifice time. Although leaving those little 'comments'..are a nice gesture of expressing whatever interest, it is still in itself a comment.

Relationships are not built or based on comments. They are more. Msn, blogs, even phone calls- although they are very convenient.. relationships should not be built on convenience either. What is love without sacrifice?

The reason i'm being "preachy" about this is b/c i've been convicted in my own life...i suck at keeping in touch..at being involved in the lives of others.

My initial intention in starting a blog was to keep in touch w/ high school friends whom i don't see often..however, i find that after people read this..and that's it...when i tell them again that i'm taking whatever class, or that i'm really enjoying whatever..or whatever it is i've been experiencing..their reaction is simply.. "oh right...i read about it"... period. And my reaction to them are similar.

Whatever happend to old school getting together, having a nice conversation over some tea?
....sooooooooooooo....i'm scared to promise that i'll put more effort into all my relationships. But that's one reason why i'm gonna take a "break" from blogging...or simply from publishing.